I cut her out of my life. It only took 15 years or so. The last straw was when she used her own excuse for cutting me and my husband out of her life. She's a user. She'll use you until you no longer serve a purpose and then toss you aside. I was (until recently) the person so called first in a crisis because she knew I would always be there for her. I would drop everything for her and do whatever she needed. But not anymore! Not after what she did to Mom. That was the last straw.
I went to see a counselor a couple of years ago and asked her to go with me. She agreed to go. She told me in one of the sessions the reason she cut me out of her life was "because if you were in it, you would tell me what I was doing." I didn't get it then and I still don't to this day. I can keep my mouth shut.
My Mom had surgery and she knew she was having it but she didn't call her. After 3 days my Mom finally called her. She said she knew how she was doing from my facebook page. She used me in the same way she said my Mom would use me to find out information about her. I was pissed. I wrote that it was a sad would when siblings couldn't even call their own Mother to find out how they were after surgery but used their siblings facebook page to check on them. My niece (my sister's daughter) got very upset by this post. But I didn't say anything that wasn't the truth and that is what I told her.
This was right before Thanksgiving and it was at my sister's house. We got uninvited to the family Thanksgiving. But the funny part is my sister had the balls to call my Mom and ask her to uninvite me. My Mom said do it yourself. She didn't even have the guts to do that she sent a text to my husband (who does not text and she know it). I sent one to her back telling her to never text him ever again and have the courage to do something for herself for one in her life. Face what she put into action all those years ago.
My husband and I had one of the best Thanksgiving's we've ever had, just the two of us at home. No stress, no bull shit, no pretending to be happy to be around people we don't want to be around.
I'm so glad I don't have her in my life any more. My stress level knowing I don't have to deal with her is so much less. I breathe a lot easy and sleep a lot better.
I've been purging the people who bring stress to my life a little at a time over the last several years but she was the biggest and the hardest one. I won't lie that there were no tear shed, but most of them were spent 15 years ago when she first cut us out of their lives with no explanation. This is just the final result of her actions of 15 years ago. I finally got mad enough to tell her to go to hell. I hope she enjoys it.
Omg....so glad to hear your story....I have the same shit going on with me
ReplyDeleteMy sister is mentally ill....she has since got diagnosed with complex ptsd.....not the right diagnosis....but she running with it....she said I abused her because I made her get us a snack when I set up the barbies.....she has always did extreme diabolical shit to me....like act like a package never came that I sent my niece....she has turned my niece against me now...I think she's the anti Christ....this has going on for 30 years...I'm 37 and had to cut her out of my life....but I tried and tried...I was invited to my niece's birthday parties for many years and I couldn't understand and was angry with my parents for allowing It...now she dosnt talk to any of the family because my mom stood up to her ....emotional hostage for her children for years...we all took it....sibling rivalry at it's finest
ReplyDeleteMy sister is mentally ill....she has since got diagnosed with complex ptsd.....not the right diagnosis....but she running with it....she said I abused her because I made her get us a snack when I set up the barbies.....she has always did extreme diabolical shit to me....like act like a package never came that I sent my niece....she has turned my niece against me now...I think she's the anti Christ....this has going on for 30 years...I'm 37 and had to cut her out of my life....but I tried and tried...I was invited to my niece's birthday parties for many years and I couldn't understand and was angry with my parents for allowing It...now she dosnt talk to any of the family because my mom stood up to her ....emotional hostage for her children for years...we all took it....sibling rivalry at it's finest
ReplyDeletei understand what you are going through and your pain. my sister has betrayed and lied to me for over 10 yaears. i have now realized. i don't want to tell my children who adore her but she would throw me to the lions for her own selfishness and a secret she is hiding, having a relationship with her husband's best friend who has been my boyfriend. she is filled with the devil and all i can do is pray. keep praying for her soul.
ReplyDeletei understand what you are going through and your pain. my sister has betrayed and lied to me for over 10 yaears. i have now realized. i don't want to tell my children who adore her but she would throw me to the lions for her own selfishness and a secret she is hiding, having a relationship with her husband's best friend who has been my boyfriend. she is filled with the devil and all i can do is pray. keep praying for her soul.
ReplyDeleteI"m curious as to what your relationship might be like as of today. I see that this post was written in 2012.
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad that I only came across this blog by searching keywords "betrayed by sister." Pathetic and toxic. I hope you have found some peace with all of this. I'm just about coming out of Phase I - DENIAL, and slowing moving into Phase II - one more nail in the coffin and this relationship is buried with the rest of the relics.
I share a similar story, there are only 3 years between my sister and I and we were as children and young woman very close. We had a difficult childhood with mum who is an alcoholic but being the oldest I shouldered a lot of the responsibility and suppose became the main carer for my 3 younger siblings.
ReplyDeleteI have been struggling for many years to have a relationship with my sister who doesn't answer the phone to me and the only way she communicates is on her terms which is by text. I think this cutting off began around the time she married, prior to that she had been living with me and my husband and I had made efforts at the time to find her a job where I was working and introduce to her to all friends as she relocated to start a new life. Her attitude towards me definitely changed and she married abroad not inviting any family to her wedding and then bought a home without telling me. I have cried many times about the loss of this relationship as I would love to be close to my sister but each time I organise something or suggest doing something there's always an excuse or a fobbing off and it never happens. I feel if there's any contact between us it is normally initiated my me and there's always a feeling she would rather be somewhere else with someone else. It makes me feel awful about myself and dreadfully hurt. Having attempted to work at this for nearly 20 years I have finally given up the ghost. My last straw was my fathers birthday who is 80 years old, he has dementia and every year we arrange to take him out somewhere nice. We arranged a time and place and I put it in my diary, a couple of days beforehand I text her to check venue and was told she couldn't make it as she needed to see her friend that evening. This is the normal pattern of behavior which normally is late cancellations and excuses leaving my husband and I in the lurch and showing no remorse at all in fact I feel she somehow gets a weird pleasure out of hurting me. I normally say don't worry about its fine but this time was different I felt really angry because I had been very unwell and was beginning to recover from a bad fall so really needed to feel cared for and I didn't get that so I text back angrily and said perhaps you should think about those closer to home rather than putting your friends first. I feel I've come to the end if my rope with my little sister I'm fed up playing the game and feel now that I want to be real about how I fee but most important is I don't have the energy to do this anymore and have accepted and made a decision to end my relationship with my sister. Please send me your thoughts and comments.
Our mother passed away last year and my sister's shadiness, lies, and lack of information about settling mom's apartment, which was our inheritance, left me with multiple stabbings in my heart. She tried to cheat me two times - once by $20,000 and another time by $11,000. During that time she lied and was very shady in so many ways. Finally finished and I have my share. However, our relationship is destroyed. I tried to avert this happening by not sharing the apartment for rent because I knew she expected to make all the decisions about everything and I knew it would destroy us; but alas, she killed everything anyway. My therapist told me to look at the split like a divorce and this works for me. Will never again trust her or believe anything that comes out of her mouth. Such a shame. The story is way more involved but that's the abridged version. I cried a lot too!
ReplyDeletethank you all for sharing this situation - it helps me to work out what is going on with one of my sisters in law - who has been in my life over 30 years and this recent betrayal is unexpected
ReplyDeleteMy sister believes the lies of others, instead of the truth. She has never shown any loyalty to me, and behaves like she is superior. I do not get along with people of her zodiac sign anyway, for the most part. However, I know for a fact that she has never given a damn about me, through her words, and actions. She, and her husband thought it funny that I was nearly killed, and the look on my attorneys face said it all. A horrible neighbor stole from my sister, right at my sister's wedding, and I witnessed it. She acts like she does not believe me. One of her boyfriends, before she married her husband, was cheating on her. My friend, and I told her what we saw, and she called us both liars. There have been several incidents, and I am very upset about ALL of them. Then she caught her boyfriend at the time, cheating on her, in her own bedroom. She was in the kitchen, and came back to her room to find them together. She never even apologized to me. She does not care that I am sick, and disabled, and I truly believe that she, and her husband want me dead, because they are greedy, and want the house I live in, and paid into, for many years. It is not my fault that they live beyond their means, and I do not want to end up in the street, because my situation is complicated. Once she told me to live in a shelter, in Los Angeles. These two characters are NOT nice people, and yet they claim to be Christian. I am very upset about this entire situation.
ReplyDeleteHow can there be any trust in a situation like this? She wanted to get power of attorney over me, and I believe she was plotting with another family member, who happens to be a sociopathic criminal. Then he turned on her, and her husband as well. She appeared to be blaming me for the sociopaths actions, yet she, my own sister, told me not to testify against him, for his past criminal actions against myself, and another victim. That simply did NOT matter to her, until the sociopath turned on her, and that husband of hers. It is downright shameful, and disgusting. Sisters are supposed to be close. Sisters should be best friends.
ReplyDelete