At one time my sister and I were very close. We did everything together. We went shopping, not only for clothing but for groceries or anything we needed. We would spent whole weekends together.
When I was still in High School, she would come and get me 1/2 way through the day so we could spend time together. Since she had her own apartment by that time.
Here's what a typical day would be like for us. Get up feed our husband's. Call each other, plan the day and decide who was driving. Pick up and start the shopping day. Do whatever we needed to do. Eat lunch together. Laugh so much that our stomachs hurt. Drop off groceries at one house or the others and have the husband's meet us for dinner. Either we'd go out or fix it together at one of our houses. This continued even after the birth of her two children.
Then one day, it was over. No more phone calls. When I called her, it was let me get back to you or I need to check my calendar and she never would. I continued to call her, invite them over for years, that's how long it took for me to take the hint that she didn't want me in her life. She gave me no explanation. Just cut, not just me but my husband also, out of their lives. We didn't do anything, I did get her to admit that to me.
She even managed to turn all our mutual friends against us. No one would return our calls or if we did get a hold of them they were always busy. Those people we gave up on a lot quicker than my sister.
So that was how it was at one time. A very loving relationship and than she stopped caring one day. My husband describes her as a cold fish. Someone that uses others until she has no more use for them and than discards them. He could not understand why I kept trying all those years to connect with her. Why I repeatedly let her hurt me. Why I cried every time she brushed me off again and again.
I guess it just took time for me to harden my heart to her. She is my sister after all, she's suppose to love me.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
So I finally did it....
I cut her out of my life. It only took 15 years or so. The last straw was when she used her own excuse for cutting me and my husband out of her life. She's a user. She'll use you until you no longer serve a purpose and then toss you aside. I was (until recently) the person so called first in a crisis because she knew I would always be there for her. I would drop everything for her and do whatever she needed. But not anymore! Not after what she did to Mom. That was the last straw.
I went to see a counselor a couple of years ago and asked her to go with me. She agreed to go. She told me in one of the sessions the reason she cut me out of her life was "because if you were in it, you would tell me what I was doing." I didn't get it then and I still don't to this day. I can keep my mouth shut.
My Mom had surgery and she knew she was having it but she didn't call her. After 3 days my Mom finally called her. She said she knew how she was doing from my facebook page. She used me in the same way she said my Mom would use me to find out information about her. I was pissed. I wrote that it was a sad would when siblings couldn't even call their own Mother to find out how they were after surgery but used their siblings facebook page to check on them. My niece (my sister's daughter) got very upset by this post. But I didn't say anything that wasn't the truth and that is what I told her.
This was right before Thanksgiving and it was at my sister's house. We got uninvited to the family Thanksgiving. But the funny part is my sister had the balls to call my Mom and ask her to uninvite me. My Mom said do it yourself. She didn't even have the guts to do that she sent a text to my husband (who does not text and she know it). I sent one to her back telling her to never text him ever again and have the courage to do something for herself for one in her life. Face what she put into action all those years ago.
My husband and I had one of the best Thanksgiving's we've ever had, just the two of us at home. No stress, no bull shit, no pretending to be happy to be around people we don't want to be around.
I'm so glad I don't have her in my life any more. My stress level knowing I don't have to deal with her is so much less. I breathe a lot easy and sleep a lot better.
I've been purging the people who bring stress to my life a little at a time over the last several years but she was the biggest and the hardest one. I won't lie that there were no tear shed, but most of them were spent 15 years ago when she first cut us out of their lives with no explanation. This is just the final result of her actions of 15 years ago. I finally got mad enough to tell her to go to hell. I hope she enjoys it.
I went to see a counselor a couple of years ago and asked her to go with me. She agreed to go. She told me in one of the sessions the reason she cut me out of her life was "because if you were in it, you would tell me what I was doing." I didn't get it then and I still don't to this day. I can keep my mouth shut.
My Mom had surgery and she knew she was having it but she didn't call her. After 3 days my Mom finally called her. She said she knew how she was doing from my facebook page. She used me in the same way she said my Mom would use me to find out information about her. I was pissed. I wrote that it was a sad would when siblings couldn't even call their own Mother to find out how they were after surgery but used their siblings facebook page to check on them. My niece (my sister's daughter) got very upset by this post. But I didn't say anything that wasn't the truth and that is what I told her.
This was right before Thanksgiving and it was at my sister's house. We got uninvited to the family Thanksgiving. But the funny part is my sister had the balls to call my Mom and ask her to uninvite me. My Mom said do it yourself. She didn't even have the guts to do that she sent a text to my husband (who does not text and she know it). I sent one to her back telling her to never text him ever again and have the courage to do something for herself for one in her life. Face what she put into action all those years ago.
My husband and I had one of the best Thanksgiving's we've ever had, just the two of us at home. No stress, no bull shit, no pretending to be happy to be around people we don't want to be around.
I'm so glad I don't have her in my life any more. My stress level knowing I don't have to deal with her is so much less. I breathe a lot easy and sleep a lot better.
I've been purging the people who bring stress to my life a little at a time over the last several years but she was the biggest and the hardest one. I won't lie that there were no tear shed, but most of them were spent 15 years ago when she first cut us out of their lives with no explanation. This is just the final result of her actions of 15 years ago. I finally got mad enough to tell her to go to hell. I hope she enjoys it.
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